The Tragic Love Story of Eli And Julia
by mrs peeta mellark 2.0
Summary: Eli's story up to the moment he met Clare.
1. Prologue

Eli Walked to school like always, he opened his locker and spotted Julia walking up to him. ''Hi Eli'' She said in a flirty voice, she leaned against the locker and looked at him.

''Hi Julia''. He said, Distracted and oblivious to her tone as he threw aside all the papers trying to find his books, his locker was always a mess.

''Want to walk me to class?'' he looked at the blonde girl standing in front of him she fluttered her eyes and twirled her hair,what was with her? He spotted his Friends.

''Come ON Eli'' they called. He only had two friends Tony and Spencer they had know one another since second grade. He looked at them and nodded. He shut his locker and pushed past her, he now could get away from her without looking like a dick.

''Um, sorry Julia'', he walked away leaving her alone standing there ''maybe next time!'' he called as he went to meet his friends.

''Is Julia still chasing you?'' Spencer asked flipping his black hair that hung in his eyes. Eli sighed.

''She's not my Type shes so preppy.'' He said wrinkling his nose. ''Shes like the prefect bible thumper girl''.

''She can be kind of a bitch''. Spencer mused. Eli didn't like it when he called her that he considered her a friend just not a girlfriend.

''I guess'', He shrugged. ''she can be kind of annoying.''

''Dude the girls always so happy''. He replied. Eli knew she was far from Happy ever since her parents got divorced in grade seven. She had tried to get him to talk to her about it but he'd avoided her because he didn't know what to do or say.

He walked in to Science class. he sat down in a free spot, only to see Julia heading his way. He face palmed.

''Hi Lab Partner!'' She squealed. He rolled his eyes.

''Hi Julia'' he sighed. This was going to be one long year...


	2. Your a good friend

The next Day Eli walked up to his locker to find Julia standing there. She was wearing black jeans and a Dead Hand T shirt. ''Nice outfit.'' He said. ''Whats up?''

''My Dads getting married''. She replied. She turned away from him he knew that meant she was crying.

''So?'' he opened his locker. What did that have to do with her outfit? Despite her being a pain in the ass, he'd known Julia since sixth Grade and he hated to see her upset.

''I wouldn't expect you to understand Eli!'' She snapped. '' I know you like me. Your just worried what your jock Friends would think! The only time we really talk is when the two of them aren't around! Your all I have Eli I wanted you to support me when my mom left. But you didn't''. She crossed her arms. He sighed frustrated. Ever since they met The semi Friendship they had consisted of fighting. She always waited for him by his locker because that was the only time he would talk to her because his friends couldn't see. He took out his book bag and slung it around his shoulder. Then he put both his hands on her shoulders.

''Julia, that was seventh Grade. We barley knew one another. I know you don't have any other friends, but I'm not a mind reader. You could have told me you needed to talk''. he leaned against the lockers. ''And your wrong I like you but not like that''. He let go of her and waited for her to retort like always.

''I shouldn't have to Eli!'' She cried.''Oh forget it''. She started to walk away.

''Julia wait!'' He grabbed her wrist.

''What Eli.''she snapped.

''Can we be friends Jules?'' He asked. ''please?'' He crossed her arms and smirked at her. She looked him in the eyes then a grin crossed her face.

''Fuck you''. She laughed. ''I can never resist that smirk''. She punched his arm.

''OW'' He joked then he shoved her shoulder and she giggled. They started towards home room.

''Nice shirt, Dead hand huh? I never took you as that type.'' He said as they walked.

''Yeah, I started listening to them to spite my Dad. But they really are good''. She replied. She really wasn't that bad.

''Hay Julia''. He said.

''What?'' She turned to look at him. '' I'm sure there's a great guy out there for you''. He said. She smiled warmly.

''Thanks Eli. That means a lot''. She took his hand in hers. He didn't pull it away.

''Can I walk you too class?'' he asked, she smiled. and the two of them walked to Science together.

**After School.**

''So things at home are rough huh?'' He kicked a rock as Eli and Julia walked home together. He wanted to understand, but he didn't his parents never fought they were in love. She looked at her feet and let go of his hand. He blushed he hadn't noticed they'd been holding hands.

'Yeah''. They stopped walking. ''She hates me Eli and it sucks because, my Dad loves her and I love him. I'm so unhappy but but I can't show it because when I'm unhappy Dads unhappy. It's to much pressure to pretend to be happy!'' He had her in his arms before she started sobbing. He walked her to a nearby bench.

''You don't have to pretend around me Jules.'' He replied. She wiped her eyes, he hated to see her cry.

''Thanks Eli''. She replied.''I don't wanna go home.'' She said wistfully.

''So don't!'' Eli said.

''What?'' She looked shocked.

''Come on!'' He stood up and pulled her up.

''Eli what?'' She laughed.

**Later**

''Isn't your Dad going to have a cow?'' Eli asked.

''Duh! I dyed my hair black Eli!'' She laughed.''He's going to have more then a cow''.

''Great''. He said sarcastically. ''Making him mad is best thing to do right now.''

''Ha whatever!'' She snapped she turned to him. ''Thanks Eli, you made me feel so much better, your a good friend''. For some reason that stung.

''Anytime Julia, I care about you''. He smiled and she took his hand again, his heart raced.

''Come on, walk home with me Eli''. She said. They walked home together and when they got to her house she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. He felt his heart beating like it never had before.

''Night Eli'' she walked towards the house. They she turned around and flashed him her smile her perfect smile. She gave him a small wave. When she got in the house he heard yelling.

''WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN JULIA ITS TWO IN THE MORNING! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR?'' He heard her retort something.

''GET UP TO BED!'' A door slam.

''I HATE BOTH OFF YOU!'' More yelling. Eli winced he was glad he wasn't in there. But he felt sorry for Julia.


	3. Goodnight

**Yes I just wanted to address the fact that Eli wasn't even supposed to be driving when she Died lol. But don't worry that's a few Chapters away.**

* * *

When Eli got to his locker Julia wasn't there. The fact made him sort of nervous but when her parents blew up at her she tended to skip school. ''Hay Eli, crazy bitch is home sick today''. Eli's chest dropped to his feet. They had probably screamed themselves but horse they hadn't hurt her had they?

''Shut up Spencer''. he snapped.

''What?'' Spencer laughed. ''She's a fucking Psychopath Eli!''

''I said shut up!'' Eli smacked him on the arm.

''Are you in loove with her Eli!'' Tony mocked him.

''Shut the hell up Tony''. he said testily. Most off the time he just rolled his eyes when they mocked her it just pissed him off to no end now.

''Why do you have to be like that huh?''

''Be like what Eli?'' Tony replied.

''Nothing just forget it!'' he snapped.

''No what is it?!'' Spencer smacked him on the shoulder.

''I said FORGET IT!'' Eli said though his teeth.

''Just forget it Spence, there's no controlling him when he's in a funk''. Tony said. The two of them took off down the hall like they always did when Eli was in a Bad mood.

''I am not in a funk'' Eli defended himself. He was on edge all day, he just wanted Julia to walk through the door. He couldn't figure out why he cared so much. The second the bell rung, he Jumped up and headed to Julia's house. The door opened.

''What do you want kid?'' Eli assumed it was her Dad. Eli took a step back so the guy couldn't reach him.

''Is Julia there?'' he asked. ''I brought her her home work''. OK fine it was a lame excuse but he had to see if she was OK!

''Shes grounded''. was all her Dad said before going to slam the door, Eli shoved his foot into the door.

''Why you little_''

''Five minutes?'' he said leaning against the wall. Julia appeared behind her Dad.

''Its OK Daddy''. She said. She stepped outside and shut the door. ''Why'd you come too see me at home Eli?'' She said nervously. ''I don't want you too see my living conditions!''

'' Julia Babe, I don't care okay?'' He grabbed her shoulders ''Your my... friend and I care about you, I was worried''.

''You were worried about me?'' He looked at the way her hair blew in the wind it made his heart beat so fast he was sure she could hear it.

''Of course''. he gave her a smile and he noticed her blush. ''Um''. It was like he had saw dust in his mouth. She raised an eyebrow.

''Yes Eli?'' She said with a small smile. He reached into his bag and pulled out a folder.

''I brought you your homework.'' He replied. She smiled

'' Thanks Eli, um see you at your locker tomorrow?'' She replied.

''My parents, got me a... car, can I give you a ride?'' he asked.

''Really?'' she smiled and gave him a hug. ''I'd love that Eli. So I'll see you tomorrow?''

''Bright and Early''. He promised.

''Great''. She grinned at him.

''Great.'' He replied. Turning too walk away. He stopped and approached her. ''Hay Julia''.

''Yes, Eli?''

''I think your the best girl I know''. He said.

''I'm the only girl you know''. She smiled warmly.

''Yeah well...''

''Oh Eli'' She giggled and Kissed his cheek. ''Goodnight''. She turned and walked into the house.

''Goodnight Julia''. His whispered as he Clutched his cheek. He turned to go back to his car and Drive home and hopefully not get arrested.


	4. It won't end well

The next day Eli combed his hair the best he could. but then again why did he care? It was only Julia... with her perfect hair, and eyes he'd never seen a girl with pretty eyes. Not that he'd ever even looked at a girls eyes, he'd never had the reason too. When he finally got to her house, Julia was waiting outside. ''I didn't want you too run into my Dad''. She explained after she kissed his cheek.

''Julia, we've been through this.'' he said in a dry voice as he opened her door for her. ''Your worth it''.

''I am?''

''Of course''. He gave her his smirk. Then he started the engine.

''Um Eli your fifteen right?'' Julia asked.

''Fourteen, just like you'' Eli replied.

''You only have your learners permit right?'' She said in a panicked voice.

''My Parents don't believe in restricting people from driving.''

''Uh what about people who can't drive huh?'' She snapped.

''I can Drive!''

''Ha whatever! I need to see it to believe it Goldsworthy!'' She crossed her arms.

''You are SO demanding'' he joked. Her green eyes made his heart melt She smiled. ''Julia, I'm sorry I haven't always been there for you but I didn't know how to help you cause my parents get along''.

''Oh Eli, you don't have to be going through the same thing, to be understanding. I was loosing everything I love, Eli and even if you didn't like me I wanted to know that your not going anywhere. So Eli next, just her that your not going anywhere that you'll be by herside when shes loosing everything. Who ever it is.'' She held onto his hand.

''I'll always be there for you Julia''. he told as they pulled into the started to run his fingers through her hair. She put her hand to his cheek. He leaned in and she followed before he knew it his lips met hers. He felt the smile creep onto his lips. ''We should go''. He said getting out off the car. Eli realized how fast he was falling for Julia and he couldn't be more happy. Little did either of them know it would not end well for them.


	5. Because I hate

Julia Pov  
_That kiss made my dreams come true. I felt happy Eli made me Happy. He was my dream since I was eleven years old. He was always so quiet he wasn't shy he was a loner oh he had two friends but that was all he cared to have and I personally thought they pissed him off he always seemed happiest either in English class or sitting alone a corner writing in his notebook. I didn't change for Eli, I was rebelling from my Dad, but I'm so much happier like this._

Julia Closed her Diary. She glanced at Eli who was sitting across the room with his friends looking miserable. Her saw her and gave her a wink. Her heart fluttered. She blew him a kiss. He got up from his chair and approached her. ''Come sit with us.'' he told her.

''Won't they tease you?'' she smiled at him.

''Who gives a shit?'' He said leaning over and pulling a hair out of her face.

''Come on!'' She kind off liked being alone. But she put her notebook in her bag and followed him over to his table.

''Julia! I gotta say I love your new look!'' One of them said. Eli Glared. She reached over and took his hand.

''Thank you''. was all she said then she turned to Eli. ''Eli, do you think you could help me with my English before class?'' Sure he stood up and pulled out her chair and she got up and took his hand. When they got to the library they sat down at a table off from anybody else.

''What do you need?'' He asked.

''Nothing, I just saw they just seem to stress you out.'' She replied. He smiled.

''Your observant, we used to be close but now they seem to be focused on being jerk jocks''. He sighed.

''Have you ever had true friends?'' she asked. He nodded with a smile, he took her hands in his.

''I have''. She grinned. When Eli drove her home, they got out of the car and she led him up to her room.

_He's so perfect._

She glanced at him as he wrote his English homework. The only class he liked. He smiled back at her.

_He's all mine. I couldn't be happier. He's all I have in the world, he's also all I need. I always had issues with trust. Now I know who I can trust. Eli. He's everything I EVER wanted in a guy._

''Julia? whats that on you arm?'' She glanced up at him. Then glanced at her arm. The cuts. She pulled her sleeve down and blushed. The nail marks the bite marks and the bruises from needles were now covered.

''Nothing'' She said looking down at her book.

''Yeah right''. He pulled up her sleeve.

''ELI DON'T_''

''Oh Julia'' He said turning pale.

''You don't understand'' she yanked at her sleeve. He set down his pencil.

''Your right I don't!''. He shook his head and look at her with pained eyes.

''Don't look at me like that Eli!'' tears filled her eyes. ''Don't act like your disappointed!''

''But I am!'' how could you hurt yourself!'' He yelled.

''Because I HATE!'' She screamed. ''I HATE MY DAD FOR CHEATING ON MY MOM! I HATE HER FOR TAKING HER AWAY FROM MY DAD! I HATE MY DAD FOR CHEATING! I HATE MYSELF FOR HAVING HER AS A TEACHER! I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE! I CAN'T HATE PEOPLE I'M SO TIRED ELI!''

''You need help Julia''. he said. ''And right now I can't do that''. He got up. ''I'm sorry''. With that he picked up his books.

''NO!'' She grabbed him by the arm and he looked pained. ''Please don't leave me''.

''I'm Sorry okay? But I can't''. He shook his head. With that he walked out the door.

''Eli PLEASE''. she ran after him. But he drove away. She fell to her knees and sobbed into her hands.


	6. Yes I Do

ELI POV  
Eli regretted walking away. But Julia needed help. Relationships wouldn't help now. He can't help her. He can only make things worse for her and he didn't want to do that. He kept walking as she chased him and just drove away.

''What's the matter Eli?'' his mother asked as he sat down and moped on the kitchen table.

''Julia''. he replied.

''Oh Baby boy, what happened?'' she sighed, he was only fourteen this was bound to happen with his first girlfriend.

''She's self harming''. He sighed. ''I had to break up with her.''

''Oh Baby boy''. She wrapped her arms around him. ''Why?''

''Because shes_'' he set his head back down. ''I don't know.'' He admitted. ''It hurts, I love her I hate to see she's been hurting herself.''

''Maybe your just running from the hurt honey, you've never hurt like she has, and you don't want too.'' He lifted his head.

''I just couldn't cope with it. You should have heard her scream, she was scaring me.'' he admitted. ''I just can't help her.''

''Honey you can't solve everyone's problems!'' she replied. ''You just have to be by her side''.

''She told me that''. he admitted. ''What have I done?''

''Talk to her, go fix it''. He nodded.

''Tomorrow at school'' He promised.

* * *

''Julia!'' Eli ran up to her at school. ''Julia baby! I'm sorry I was wrong! My mom_''

''You told your mom?!'' Julia slammed her locker door. ''Fuck Eli why'd you do that?''

''I tell my My mom everything''. He said like it was obvious. ''She won't say anything Julia''.

''OK''. She furrowed her eyebrows. She shook her head. Then a smile creeped on too her face. ''I'm getting therapy''.

''Really?'' He pulled her into a hug. ''I'm so glad,'' i'm sorry I ran away.''

''I don't blame you Eli''. She sighed.

''I do When I get scared I run. I shouldn't do that and I won't when you love someone you should stick with them no matter what.''

''I agree.'' she wrapped her arm around him. ''I forgive you.''

''Good''. They kissed again and his friends creeped up.

''I knew it you liikee her''. Tony said cockily.

''Yes I do''. Eli said feeling intense why wouldn't they just fuck off?

''Didn't think you were the type to fall for bible thumpers Eli!'' Before he knew it Eli was on top of him. Then he remembered he wasn't the worlds most skilled fighter, he'd have to get himself out of this one. He could hear Julia screaming like a mad woman for him to stop.

''ELI STOP!'' Julia shouted. ''ELI! GET OFF HIM, HES YOUR BEST FRIEND!'' She stepped forward to yank him off but Spencer pulled her back. ''LET GO OF ME SPENCER I SWEAR!'' She wiggled.

''Just stand back Julia''. He told her. ''Just go get a teacher''. When the teachers came and pulled them apart and gave them detention all hell broke loose.

''You know Eli I'm sick of your bullshit!'' Spencer shot as they walked down the hall.

''My bullshit?! You guys think you're so cool being tough jocks! You get a change out off making fun of my girlfriend!'' He snarled his face burning with anger.

''Eli just forget!'' Julia grabbed on to his hand. ''Come on lets just go!''

''No, I just can't STAND bullies!'' he replied. It was Mike all over again.


	7. Eli's Eli

**Julia POV**  
_Eli got into a fight today,I've never seen that side of him. God, I've never been so mad at him. Even when he broke up with me yesterday I couldn't blame him. now I'm in therapy for him only for him. It was so hard thinking Tony would hurt him. He can't stand bullies hes been like that as long as I've known him. Eli has always been sort of hard core and sarcastic but he really can't stand bullies. I want to ask him why._

Julia's cell phone started to ring, she picked it up and looked down at it. Eli's face was on her phone. She sighed, ''What Eli?'' She snapped. She pressed talk. ''I'm doing homework''. She snapped.

''Babe, I don't why your so mad''. He said. ''I was defending you''.

''Eli fighting is not the answer''. Julia replied. ''I've been dealing with crap from Tony and Spencer since grade six, I deal with it.''

''I got mad, I'm sorry''. He replied. The door swung open.

''Can you like knock when you come into MY room''. She snapped.  
''You!'' She grabbed Julia's arm. ''Get off the damn phone long enough, to do the chores we gave you!''

''I was doing my homework damn it!'' She snarled she put the phone back up to her ear. ''I'm sorry Eli, my Dads girl friend wants me to be a slave, I'll talk to you in school.'' She pressed the end button.

''How DARE you? Wait till I tell your father!''

''Fuck you!'' Julia got up and started packing her bag. ''I'll be at Eli's''

''You are not moving in with Eli''. She snapped.

''You have no power over me!'' Julia snapped. ''I'm not moving in with Eli. I don't want to impose on his family.'' She shoved some shirts into her bag.

'' Well then do you have any clue where your going to live then?''

''No'' Julia snapped. she slug her bag over her shoulder. She stepped out the door and into the dark cold night. She stood on the step. She walked down the street wondering where to go. Eli would just send her home. She hugged her jacket to her chest and kept walking she sat down on a bench. She felt the tears come into her eyes she wiped them out. She felt someone sit down next to her. She hugged her knees and avoided all eye contact. Who knows this guy could rape her! Her phone rang again. She looked at it. ''God Eli, Leave me alone''. she said as the tears flowed.

''Julia?'' The voice was recognizable to much so for her not to look up.

''Spencer?'' She said.

''Julia, Why are you out here all alone?'' he asked.

''My Step mom''. She told him. ''She was pissing me off!'' His face fell.

''I get it, my step Dads a dick and I hate him!'' She smiled sadly.

''Yeah but_''

''You love your Dad''. he cut her off.

''Yeah, plus Eli can be_''

''Eli's Eli, he can be a dumb ass Ever since Mike he goes way to far to get revenge on people who give him crap. But nobody can calm him down like you can Jules_''

''Don't Call me Jules''. She replied.

''Sorry''. He smiled. ''If you ever need to talk to someone who gets it_''

''Thanks'' She gave him a smiled and turned to spot her boy friend watching them.

''Eli''. She said not surprised he had come after hearing the big fight and her not picking up her phone.

''Why are talking to him?'' he demanded. ''He's a jerk''. He gave Spencer a death stare and put his arm around Julia who felt oddly restrained. They walked to his car and Eli seemed oddly relaxed. So she brought up her question.

''Who's Mike?'' She asked. A look crossed his face that told her he didn't want to talk about it.

''He was a kid I knew it Grade school, he used to make my life hell''. Eli sighed. ''It all started in kindergarten, they broke my lunch box, and stole my lunch after that I would miss lunch every single day because they would take it. They would beat me up''.

''Oh Eli''. She grabbed his hand lovingly. He stopped the car at his house and gave her a sad smile.

''Its alright''. It was a long time ago''. He kissed her cheek. ''Come, you can sleep in my room.''


	8. Are you nervous?

Eli's POV  
''So are your parents okay with us in the same bed ?'' Julia asked as she tossed a pillow at him.

''I asked them''. he tossed it back. God her eyes just made him melt they way they sparkled.

''And?'' She crossed her arms over her chest.

''They said its time I got some action anyway.'' He replied as he laid down in bed.

''Yeah Right''. She sat down next to him and started to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around her and they fell over on to the floor. ''Eli Shhhhh''. She giggled.

''Julia they don't care, they expect it''. He told her smoothing her hair. She smiled at him and kissed him. He laughed and picked her up and dropped her on the bed and they continued to make-out. She stood up and pulled her Jacket off and tossed it on the floor. She then pulled off her shirt and unbuttoned both their jeans. ''Julia, we've only been dating, a day''. He said as they kissed.

''Two'' She replied. ''Its midnight.'' She kissed him again. His heart was beating a mile a minute.

''Fine two, but are you sure you want to_'' He didn't want to have her throw away her beliefs in God just for sex with him.

''Yes''. She kissed him.

''Okay then''. He unbuttoned his shirt. ''lets do it then''. He picked her up and set her on the bed. She touched her hand to his chest.

''Are you nervous?'' She asked him, the sparkle in her eyes making him feel like he was going crazy. He shook his head.

''No''.

''Good''. They laid down next to one another. Eli reached over and moved on top of her. She pulled off her bra and under wear Then and there Julia Lost her virginity.

**So this will be in Julia's Pov as well now because I'm getting attached to her through writing about her.**

**Review!**


	9. We'll get through this I promise you

''I don't Think I slept at all.'' Julia laughed.

''Me either''. Eli admitted. Julia's phone rang. She picked it up off the dresser. She sighed looking troubled.

''Who is it?'' He asked a thought occurred to him. ''Its not Spencer is it?'' She glanced at him. with a funny look.

''No! Why would I be talking to him?'' She pulled on her skinny jeans. He couldn't put the thought out of his mind Julia just couldn't leave him for Spencer she was now the only friend he had he couldn't loose her. ''Eli what?'' She gave him a worried look.

''Nothing, its okay''. He told her.

''Eli, its my Dad''. She leaned over and stroked his cheek.

''I'm okay Baby, I promise''. He gave her a kiss on the cheek. ''Do you want to stay here for a few days?'' She picked up her shirt.

''No, I should go home''. she pulled it on.

''No stay''. He stood up and kissed her.

''I can't Eli, he's going to Kill me OK?'' She pulled on her Jacket and picked up her bag.

''So stay''. He told her. ''Or let me drive you''.

''No, I'm OK''. She kissed him. ''I'll call you when I get home OK?''

''Julia_'' He wanted to stop her from going he didn't want her back in that house that caused her so much pain.

''I need to go home Eli''. She said. ''I need to make things better with my Dad. I'll come back I promise I'll spend the night again tonight''.

''Okay.'' He stroked her hair wishing she wouldn't go. He got up and started to get dressed.

''What are you doing? Go back to sleep its six in the morning!'' She told him.

''I'll drive you home and wait outside for you''. He said.

''Eli don't, they are going to freak when they see Morty parked across the street''. She told him giving him a smirk. ''Then we can spend all day Sunday together and i'll go home Sunday night and we can go to school together on Monday''.

''Okay, just be careful''. He ran his hand through her hair. I will she turned and walked out of the room.

Julia POV.

_Dad's sending me away, to live with my mother. She lives a few blocks away as you know. I think he know's Eli and I had sex. He thinks Eli forced me to runaway. I could even stay at school if I wanted but he's not giving me that option he wants to send me to Degrassi high. He would have to pay extra for that! Its closer to Eli for Gods sake. It sucks to have two schools within walking range..._

''I HATE YOU!'' Julia slammed the door and stormed over to Eli's house. Eli was out on the step waiting for her. ''Eli''. She sat down and hugged him soaking his shirt with her tears. He hugged her for a long time.

''Whats the matter.''. He cupped her face in his hands. ''Baby, whats the matter?''

''They_ my Dads sending me to live with my mom''. She let out a shuttery sigh. ''I have to change schools, my Dad wants me to go to Degrassi next year''. She burried her face in his shirt again. ''I think he assumes we had sex last night''.

''I'll go, I'll transfer with you. Your all I've got in school''. He told her wrapping his arms around her. She looked up at him.

''You'd transfer with me?'' She asked touched.

''I promise''. He kissed her head. ''We'll get through this I promise you''.


	10. I don't deserve you

**Eli Pov**

''Are you sure you want to transfer with me Eli? You don't have to do this.''. Julia moved shifted as they lay in his bed Eli's arms wrapped around her.

''Yeah,your all I care about in school Julia''. It was the truth. He had no friends now and frankly he liked it that way because people seemed to always hurt him and each other. All he needed was Julia and his parents. He didn't need any other friends.

''Are you sure Eli?'' She sat up. ''You might want to stay here with your friends''.

''I don't have any nor Do I need any''. He told her.

''You don't trust people do you Eli?'' She asked him.

''No, not since...'' He trailed off He hated saying the name even to this day. Mike and his Cronies had Made Elementary school hell for him.

''Yeah''. Julia paused and laid back down. ''Not Everyone is like that Eli, I choose not to have friends too because I used to believe all I need is God.''

''Used too?'' Eli sat up and glanced back at her. He thought the bible was a crock but Julia had always been the biggest believer he knew. He hated to think she'd given it up for him.

''Gods left me Eli''. She said. He nodded. That was a valid point.

''As long as it wasn't because we had sex''.He told her.

''Eli I left God before we had sex.'' She informed him. ''I don't expect you to uproot your school life to move schools with me''.

''Julia, I don't have a school life''. He replied. ''My parents could care less if I switch or not all I have to do is ask them, I will go to that school with you no matter what happens to us!'' He kissed her hair.

''Don't say I forced you''. She replied she stared into his eyes. He pulled her closer into his arms and they laid there in silence. Everything was right in the world. Julia was his and he was hers. Eli was becoming more and more attached to her and he couldn't stop it nor would he ever want to, there would never be another girl he loved as much as Julia.

**Julia POV.**

When she knew he was asleep she snuck into the bathroom. She pulled her makeup bag, out of her purse when she looked in the mirror she saw the makeup was coming off her eye she panicked. But If Eli had seen he surly would have said something. She continued to put makeup over the mark his Dads girlfriend had given her.

_He's sleeping._

_I just hate lying to him. Telling him I'm not talking to Spencer and hiding the bruise. Spencer I'm not in love with him. He gets me, he really does. He's not a bad guy when he's not around Tony. But Eli he hates him. And I owe it to Eli to not talk to him. He also doesn't know I'm skipping therapy and still cutting, the lies are killing me! He's such a good guy. he wants to go to Degrassi with me._

She set her pen down and put it in her bag along with her Journal. She crawled back into bed with Eli who moaned in his sleep. She ran her hands through his hair. ''Your to good for me Eli'' She sighed. ''I don't deserve you''.


	11. Your a Dick

**Julia POV**

**So I limiting myself two two chapters a day people because I can't keep writing all day...**

Eli and Julia Settled into school and Julia would spend most of her time with Eli at his house. She would sometimes go home for the weekend or on days she felt her Dad needed her. Her and her Dad now had a understanding somewhat. Fall rolled into winter. The two of them were hardly apart Julia was starting to feel it.

''So,I have to go home this weekend''. She picked at the food she was eating.'' For my Dads Wedding''. She reminded him.

''Oh''. He shoved some of the gross caf food into his mouth. Oh? that was it? She dropped her fork on her plate.

''Oh?'' Her eyes flickered to look at his face it showed no expression. She picked up her fork and started attacking her meat loaf. There was a loud bang. They both jumped.

''Hay Bible freak, Eli''.

''Get lost Tony''. She tossed her fork on the table and glared into his eyes.

''Oh snippy aren't we?'' he snapped at her.

''Your a dick'' She snapped.

''Your a bitch''. He shot back.

''Don't talk to her like that!'' Eli stood up and punched him right in the face. She gasped and put her hand over her mouth.

''Eli!'' She stood up just as they started punching one another. ''Oh God Eli, Stop!'' She felt a pair of arms around her. She screamed in shock.

''Let go of her!'' Eli grabbed the back of Spencer's shirt.

''Eli stop!'' She backed him into the wall and put her hand on his cheek. The crazy look in eyes made her back off a little. ''You need to calm down''. She let go of him. The two of them herd his name being called to the office.

''Now you've done it''. She shook her head and took off down the hall. She couldn't cope right now.

_Another fight. Its like its a new person when he gets mad and it doesn't take anything at all for him to slug a person, he's so impulsive! Its scary. He scares me when he's mad. He hates it when the two of us are apart. He wants sex every time I stay at his house. He's changing fast I feel like i'm walking on glass with him! I never know when he's going to blow anymore!_

**Eli POV.**

He didn't regent punching him. He'd do it again if he had too. He didn't know why Julia was mad at him, he been trying to protect her but she was mad at him again. It made him feel slightly stressed when she was upset with him. He'd have to make it up to her now. Two weeks Detention, he'd done it so many times the teacher knew his face. He walked up to Julia and wrapped his arm around her.

''Hi Eli''. She sighed walking up to her locker and opening it. ''What do you want?'' She tossed her lunch bag in her locker.

''I was wondering if you wanted to go to the movies. Just the two of us.'' He kissed her cheek. ''And then you can help me think of a plan''.

''A plan?'' She furrowed her eyebrows at him confused.

''For revenge''. He couldn't let Tony get away with calling his girlfriend a bitch he would have to pay.

''Eli!'' She said in exasperated tone.

''What? he called you a bitch!'' Eli kissed her. ''We can't let him get away with That babe.'' She rolled her eyes.

''Whatever, look I'm going home today''. She slug her bag over her shoulder. ''Thanks anyways''. As she walked down the hall Eli couldn't help thinking he did something wrong.


	12. You two are like night and Day

**Eli POV**  
Eli wanted to help his girlfriend but again he was stuck not knowing how. She seemed under a lot of stress. He had keyed Tony's car only to find out it belonged to his Dad. Julia would Kick his ass if she found out but he had at lest gotten Tony grounded he was now satisfied and could move on with his life. Eli knew the key to dealing with bullies was to scare them off. Eli how now made his message loud and clear: He wasn't talking shit from Tony. He had learned his lesson from getting his ass kicked by Tony.

Fighting wasn't his thing, he needed to get revenge his own way without physical revenge.

The game was on.

He smirked to himself as he typed away on his laptop he would get revenge in the best way possible. He logged on to message Julia but when he clicked on her profile she was listed as having two friends. He was confused he had always been the only one on her profile and he liked it that way. He choked a little when he saw the extra name. It was Spencer. He shook his head Spencer shouldn't have he knew what Eli's pet peeves were and messing with HIS girl was one of them.

Revenge time.

**Julia POV**  
Julia Stood and watched her new step mom and her father kiss. She fiddled with her flowers. Her Dad didn't even notice her arms in her pink dress. But he smiled over at her she smiled back that was when she knew, she had to stay home for awhile because her Dad had a family now and despit not wanting to be. She was apart of it.  
''I'm sorry Daddy, I'm sorry I don't get along with her''. Julia told him as they danced. ''I just_'' Her voice broke.

''Julia honey, its not your fault''. He told her. ''You've been though hell honey''.

''But I love you I want you to be happy''. She told him. ''i'm being selfish''.

''Its alright honey I know you don't mesh with people easy''. He pulled her into a hug and she sobbed. For the first time she felt happy with her family and she wanted to stay with her Dad and not run to Eli.

''Why are you going to send me to Degerassi?'' She asked him.

''You need a fresh Start honey, with out the kids at your school who know you and that Eli Kid and that Spencer kid_''

''By the way NEVER mention to Eli I talk to Spencer''. She said. ''He'd have kittens''. her gave her concerned look.

''Spencer seems like a nice kid''. He told her.

''Spencer has... Issues''. She paused. ''He can be mean, but he can also be really sweet when he wants to be. Eli only sees one side of it they used to be best friends and Spencer and Tony would mock him and me and it made him mad because he hates bullies and now he thinks Spencer is a ass hole''.

''Julia it sounds like Eli is_''

''Unstable I know, but I won't leave him Daddy he needs me''. To her self she thought: And frankly, I need him. She sat down at the table she fiddled with her dress and looked up across the dance floor stood Spencer. She walked across the floor making sure nobody was looking.  
''What are doing?'' She asked him. He cocked an eyebrow.

''Hello to you too''.

''Spencer!'' She had told him not to come to the wedding in case Eli showed up.

''Ok Ok, Check face range''. He handed her his phone she looked at him confused.

''What is it Spencer?'' She breathed. She scrolled her account only to find her profile was littered with insults from Spencer.

''Spencer!'' She snapped. ''What the fuck?'' She slammed his phone down.

''It wasn't me my profile was hacked!'' He told her. She felt horror wave over her.

''Eli''. She said out loud. ''Oh i'm going to kick his_''  
''Don't, Eli wants to win, Eli never wins Mike would kick his ass Daily and Eli being a pacifist wouldn't fight back, but then one day he snapped and beat the living shit out a kid who called him Emo hence the Eli he is today, Eli wants to feel like the the winner and that's not Happening, Tony kicked his ass the last time the got into a physical fight.'' He Explained all this as if it were nothing.

''Why did you even start hanging out with Eli?'' She smirked. ''You two are like night and day.''

''In second grade Eli was the kid always getting his ass kicked by Mike. He would eat his lunch in the bathroom stalls but Mike would find him every single time''. Spencer shook his head. ''The kid could never even sit on the park in peace. One day I stood up for him. He seemed shy, but I soon realized he was just anti Social and he was happy that way. Me and Tony would kick Mikes ass if he so much as breathed in Eli's direction. But by Fifth grade we grew up and realized you can't do that to solve conflicts and Eli became a bad ass''. She nodded.

''I kind of get it now''. She crossed her arms. ''I should go back to the wedding. Do you want to dance?'' He smirked.

''I thought you'd never ask.'' They moved on to the dance floor and he took both her hands and they moved slowly to the music. She smirked.

''I don't think I'm doing this right''. She said. He smirked.

''Your not!'' She smacked him on the arm.

''Ow, You hit hard for a girl''.

''Yeah well I hang out with Eli''. She joked. ''He needs a good smack sometimes''.

''You don't seem as happy with him anymore''. He remarked. She sighed fiddling with her dress.

''Eli can be really over whelming''. She replied. ''But he's worth it''. She smiled it was true she loved Eli. At that moment she felt him stomp on her foot. ''Fuck Spencer that hurt!'' She kicked him.

''Ow fucking Bitch''. He wrapped his arms around her and started to tickle her. She laughed forgetting her problems for the first time in a long time. It was nice to hang around with a boy with out drama she didn't get that with Eli anymore nor did she think she would ever. For the first time she was questioning weather she needed him or he needed her and she was staying to look after him maybe leaving would be the best thing for Eli and for herself.

**Its new years eve wanted to post one more thing before 2014!**

**HAPPY NEW YEAR!**


	13. Bye Eli

**Eli POV**

Eli knew all hell was about to break loose when Julia called him in the middle of the day when she was supposed to be at her Dads reception. He picked up his phone. ''Hi Baby''. He said as he moved away from his laptop she had his full attention.

''Hi, I just wanted to say I can't come tonight, my Dad and I kind of made up and I feel happy at home for once.'' She had a smile in her voice and HE wasn't the cause of it and that upset him.

''Alright then''. He said it came out more harsh then he intended. He was sitting on the couch and could feel his parents watching him.

''Look, I'm sorry OK?'' She said her voice rising a few octaves. ''I just_''. Her voice shuttered and she began to cry. He ran his hands through her hair. Great job Eli you make her cry! He thought.

''Jules please don't cry, I'm sorry OK? I just_'' He felt like the biggest jerk ever she'd been happy for once and he'd ruined that.  
I know Eli''. She said tearfully. ''Its not that its just your so prefect, and i'm so me your too good for me! I'll never deserve you''. Eli couldn't figure out why she was saying this if anything he didn't deserve HER that was why he had to keep her all to himself.

''Julia that's so not true your perfect in every way possible, I've never met a girl I've loved as much as you''. He wanted to be with her now.

''I lied to you Eli, about_ ''. She was crying like crazy now. ''About Spencer''. Eli had to sit down. He already knew this but hearing her say it made him want to kill Spencer.

''I knew you didn't like him anymore, and I thought I should be loyal to you so I lied''. She calmed her voice. He smiled she really did have his best interests at heart. ''He's not that bad when he's not with Tony Eli''. Eli shut his eyes. He knew this. Spencer was a follower he let Tony bully him he was just as much of a victim as Eli was but he did have a mean streak when he wanted to show off. Eli didn't hate him for that Eli was't even sure why he did aside from the fact Spencer claimed Eli gave them Bullshit and talking to Julia. Oh yeah no guy should even LOOK at her in the wrong way.

''I know Babe, I just_''. He sighed feeling stress. ''He hurt you for a long time''.

''Eli he's changed, he doesn't hang out with Tony.'' She said talking so fast he just caught what she was saying.

''Can you just stay away from him?'' He couldn't loose her to Spencer. She paused and he could hear her breathing.

''Okay, if that's what you want I will''. She replied. ''I promise''. He smiled everything way okay now.

''Thanks Baby, see you soon''. He said.

''Bye Eli, I love you''. Eli almost passed out.

''Bye Julia.'' He clicked the end button and realized he needed Julia.


	14. Sometimes you meet your soul mate young

Eli lay in his room as he waited for Julia to come out of the bathroom, when she came out she was wearing one of his t shirts. ''Thanks for letting me sleep over.'' She lay down next to him.

''Any time''. The clock ticked to midnight.

''Happy new year Eli''. She whispered.

''Happy new year Jules,'' He wrapped his arm around her. ''2009 will be our year.'' He promised her he kissed her on the head. He had never felt this happy he had been fine before her he hadn't been miserable, but he had not known true happiness.

''Eli? do you think you and I meant to be?'' She sat up and looked him in the eyes. He face fell did she not? She was pulling away from him, he felt it.

''Why?'' he put his arm around her. She wiggled a little bit.

''Its just the two of us are so young Eli your my first love''.

''Sometimes you meet your soul mate young''. He replied. ''We did''. Her eyes flashed in a way that told him she was still uneasy.

''My, Dads worried that you and I are falling for one another to fast, he says we'ere to young to know what love is''. Tears were forming in her eyes.

''That's not true''. He told her kissing her.

''You think?'' She looked at him with hopeful eyes and it was till that fateful day when everything was torn away from him.  
one month Later

**Julia POV**  
_Nothing can ever be good for Eli and me. Either he's the problem or I am. We fight more then we get along. When Eli Loves he loves, but when he hates, he hates, right now I just can't cope, He's always fighting with Spencer and Tony he almost killed Tony today! He's way to Jealous I just wish he would realize I love him and only him._  
_I'm loosing myself the two of us are now Julia and Eli, I'm Known as Eli's girl. Nobody even noticed me before ,now they are all scared of me because Eli is so possessive ,he gets mad at my female English partner. I'm writing this in the bathroom the only place I get to be alone anymore! Things are bad at home like always but things are getting to be worse with Eli._

Julia's phone made a noise she pulled it out of her bag. It was from Eli, she sighed annoyed. **Babe, I can't find you!** She shook her head.  
**I'm pissing Eli.** She walked up to the sink and washed her hands.

**Are you in the bathroom by the gym?** She dried her hands and walked out to find Eli standing outside the bathroom door along with several other girls boyfriends. All three of them made eye contact with one another and rolled their eyes. Eli wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. ''What do you say you and I skip class and go hang out at the park''.

''Sounds awesome''. She took his hand and the two of them left together. He opened the passenger door to Morty for her she smiled at him and got inside.

''What do you want to do with your life?'' Eli asked her.

''That's my problem, everyone asks me that, but I don't know I'm only fourteen''. She picked at her nails.

''I want to go write, that's all I know at the moment''. Julia smiled at him, writing was the only thing other then her that kept him happy.

''You will Eli, maybe Degrassi will open a new chapter of your life.'' He parked the car in the parking lot and kissed her.

''Will you be apart of it?'' Her heart lurched she didn't know anymore. But the needy look in his eye made her crack.

''Of course''. She grabbed his hand. ''Always.'' Her phone dinged and Eli narrowed his eyes. Julia's Dad called her he was the only one who texted her. She went to snatch it off the the dash but he beat her too it.

''Eli, that my private property!'' She was outraged how dare he read her messages!

''Your still talking to Spencer?'' He looked like he wanted to punch something. ''I thought I told you to ditch him!'' She almost slapped him.

''Do you ever hear yourself?!'' She threw her hands in the air. ''Eli I don't think this is healthy any more.''

''What do you mean?'' He looked like he was about to cry.

''I feel like, you own me, and like you think you own me!'' She felt tears coming to her own eyes.

''Your MY girlfriend''. He replied crossing his arms.

''My God, I need to get out of here''. She picked up her purse. He took her by the arm.

''Julia I need you''. He said in a tone that made her want to take him in her arms and kiss him, but she shook her head. ''You need to help you first Eli''. She got up out of the car and stormed home sobbing all the way and when she got home she called Spencer. He was the only person that understood her anymore.


	15. Don't worry i'm not stopping this story

Writing the new Chapter now I have a facebook group for my Account now!

search

Mrs Peeta Mellark 2.0

You will get updates this way.


	16. Don't bother to call me

Eli POV  
_Dear Eli,_  
_I'm sorry about our fight, to tell you the truth, I always kind of like your Jealous ways. The thing I like about you Eli is you don't just love, you love with every fiber of you being, I think you not caring all would be worse. You live your life to the fullest._  
_I wish I could be more like you. I love you Eli, your my best friend, we might fight more then Alli and Noah in the note book, but in the end of the day you always make me realize why I love you so much._  
_But Eli you and I are only fourteen we are so young, first love is not known to last. If there is ever a time when we are not together and your with another girl just know, you deserve the best girl in the world and no matter what, i will make sure she is right for you._  
_it doesn't matter who she is but Eli if she's kind to you, and makes you happy that's ALL that matters in the world. Just know that if you love her go for it, don't be afraid. now I'm just rambling, I'm sorry._  
_I love you _  
_Julia._  
In the past few months Julia had stayed with them whenever she and her step mom would have a big fight. January had come and gone and it was now April. Julia and Eli were happier then they'd ever been before. Eli realized how much she really loved him, there was no possible way she would ever leave him.  
''Hay I got your note''. He walked over to her and kissed her hair.

''Lame I know''. She smiled.

''No, I liked it''. He told her truthfully he took her hand and they walked hand in hand down the hall.

''What do you say after school you and I go to my house?'' Julia asked him.

''Sounds like a plan to me''. Eli sighed his life was finally falling into place.

Julia POV

''Julia''. Julia turned around.

''Oh hi Spencer''. She picked up her bag from the floor and put it over her shoulder. He and Eli had sort of become friends again Eli was now Ok with her talking to Spencer. He took her bag from her and she gave him a friendly smile they walked in silance.

''Julia I_''. He paused and shut his eyes. Julia stopped walking.

''What is it Spencer?''

''I like you''. He blurted. ''Your the only person who listens to me, your so pretty and smart and loving''.

''Spencer I can't be with you, you know that''. She took down the hall and out the school doors. She walked home as fast as she could.

''There you are''. Her step mom was waiting for her. ''Eli called. How could skip class?''

''Just leave me Alone I'm just so sick of it all!'' She said her tears still flowing.  
''Sick of what?'' The blonde lady snapped.

''EVERYTHING!'' Julia yelled. She stomped up the stairs just wanting to die. She shut her self in the bathroom and sobbed her eyes out and for the first time in a long time, Julia cut.

Why couldn't her life ever be OK?

Why was she so addicted to cutting?

Why couldn't she stop?!

Why did her Dad ever have to get remarried?

Why wasn't she good enough for Eli?

Why Why why? The question was so fresh in her mind as she continued to harm herself. ''Oh honey''. She looked up to see her step mom watching her from the door.

''My life's falling apart''. She said her voice high from all the tears shed. ''I want to die so bad''. The lady showed the first sign of kindness Julia had ever seen she scooped her in her arms and hugged her and tightly as she could letting Julia sob into her arms.

''I'm so so sorry baby''. She soothed. ''Everthig will be ok I promise you''. The door bell rang. Julia whiped her nose.

''Thats probably Eli''. She said her voice still shaky. ''He was going to drive me home but I left''.

''Do you want me to_'''

''No, i'll go see him''. Her step mom got up and let the boy in the house. Eli apeared at the door. He spotted her washing her bloody arm and scoweled. ''I got your bike, you left it at school ,We need to talk''.

''We do''. He led her out to his car and they drove in silence for a few minutes.

''I'm putting together a plan to get revenge on Spencer''. He told her as they drove.

''What?! Eli don't! i thought you were over this''. She had thought he had matured past his old grade five antics.

''He tried to kiss you Julia''. Eli's face was scary dark now.

''And I stopped him didn't I? How do you even know anyway?'' He hadn't been following them had he!? The nerve.

''I followed you''. His hand tightened on the wheel.

''WHAT! WE WERE DIFFERENT FREAKING CLASS ROOMS ELI!'' She couldn't believe he didn't trust her!

''I saw you two walking to sixth period together, and I guess I got Jealous, then I saw you leave all alone, and got worried_''

''And called my house on me''. She finished. ''I thought you trusted me''.

''I do I just_''

''I know it was you who hacked Spencer's Facerange!'' She blurted.

''I got_''  
I know you got Jealous''. She snarled in even worse mood.

''If you wouldn't flirt with him so much and lie to me_''

''Pardon me?'' She crossed her arms. ''I said I was sorry, Eli I'm sorry I'm not perfect as for flirting with him, you fucking know I would never_''

''No I don't. You lied about everything you told me Julia! Did you even love me?''

''Your freaking crazy Eli''. She said feeling her face turning redder and redder.

''This is coming from a girl who cuts! You promised me you would_''

''I'm so very sorry if I can't stop over night Eli''. She looked out her window thinking of leaving.

''I love you Julia, I'm sorry if every body else hates including your mother ,but I love you''. He realized then he'd gone way to far. She looked at him tears filling her eyes. ''Babe , I'm sorry''.

''Your always sorry Eli, and I always forgive you, not this time''. She stepped out of the car. ''Don't bother to call me''. She slammed the car door. She was waiting for him to stop her. She opened the back seat and snatched her bike.

''Jules_'' He ran his fingers through his hair.

''Don't call me Jules.'' She slammed the back seat door. She moved her bike onto the street. She wanted him to come after her. She shook from the tears. She got on her bike, the tears blurring her vision. She rode off into the night.

''JULIA WAIT!'' He said it to late the car had Already hit her, she felt the world go black and she was never to wake up again.

**Eli POV.**

It was like it happened it slow motion, the car hitting her and her landing with her head smacking the ground. Eli could only watch feeling like he was about to puke. He took out his phone and called 911 then he ran to his girlfriends side. ''Julia, I'm sorry, please get up please''. He ran his hands through his hair. ''God damn it Julia don't die on me!'' He herd the engine of the ambulance coming closer and closer, he sat there for what felt like forever until he felt himself being pulled away.

''You need to move son''. The gruff voice sounded not sympathetic at, all just annoyed.

''NO''. He snarled. ''That's my girlfriend!''

''Son you need to move'' A younger man told him firmly. '' She's getting the best help possible''.

''NO!'' The tears were coming down his face now but he didn't care. ''I won't leave her side, I didn't go after her I just let her walk away its all my fault!''

''Eli Eli, baby''. He felt him self being pulled up he didn't have the strength to fight it. She pulled him into a hug. ''Mom''. He sobbed.

''I saw it on the news''. It was dark out now just like Eli's heart he watched them put a sheet over her dead body.


	17. Horrible

By the time Eli and his mother left it was getting dark, she let him towards Morty. "I'll call your Dad, to come get your car". She had her arm around him. He just nodded, he was in too much shock to even fight her on it. He got in the front seat of the car.

"Are you ok?" She took his hand the Julia always would when he was upset. He nodded.

"I'm fine, everythings fine". He told her. Julia wasn't dead, he wouldn't believe this she would come to school tomorrow. And they would make up he was sure of it. If she was dead that would mean she left him and Julia wouldn't do that to him, she knew he was only happy when she was around. She was not dead he knew it. When he mom pulled up to the house he went up to his room and went to bed, he would go to school and everything would go back to normal.

When he got to school the next day, everyone was crying Eli feeling numb opened his locker and pulled out his notebook and sat down and tried to write but he just couldn't Julia was his muse and without her he couldn't write. He shut his book he wanted her to come home.

He reached in to his pocket to find a gum wrapper from the gum Julia had given him, her favorite he smiled and set it in his locker. When he got to his homeroom everyone already there looked at him with sadness in their eyes. He put his head on his desk, when Spencer entered all eyes turned to him.

Eli glanced at him and scowled. Spencer nodded at him in friendly way Eli turned his head away. When the bell rang Eli went back to his locker and stood there. Science class was next, Julia had to be in science, she just had to be. When he sat down the girl there he'd never seen before gave him a angering happy look. "Hi I'm Katie! I'm new".

"Eli". He started coloring his nails black with a sharpie. He tried his best to not look at her he couldn't make any other friends. Not only was he happier alone, but he couldn't get hurt again. If he didn't befriend anyone. He reached into his desk and found his and Julia's old notes. He shoved them in his bag. He managed to go through the rest of the day unnoticed. He was at his locker shoving trash he found in his bag inside when somebody said his name making him jump.

"Eli!"

"What Spencer?" Eli snarled.

"Doesn't it piss you off? People pretending to miss her?" He pointed to girls crying in each othersarms. They had hated Julia, Eli shook his head.

"No, because she's not dead". He mumbled. He refused to believe that. "Get over it Spencer". Eli called over his shoulder. Eli got into his car and drove home. When he got to the kitchen he ate his snack and put his napkin in his pocket, he then start his empy juice box in his dresser drawer he would throw it out tried to do his homework. But he couldn't, Julia always helped him. Instead he went to sleep and dreamed of Julia.

When Eli woke up and shoved the trash from his dresser onto the floor, he went down to breakfast and his mother ambushed him. "Julia's memorial is this weekend are you going?". It occurred to Eli that she really was gone and that made him angry.

"Yes". He said a little testily. "I'm going to school". He tossed his trash in his room not even realizing he was doing it now. When he got to school two girls walked up to him. "Eli we are so sorry about Julia, she was like our best friend". Eli glared.

"Why don't you just shut up?!" He slammed his locker door. "You hated her".

"We were like her closest friends". The blonde replied.

"Julia would hate you!" he yelled. "Spencer and I were her only friends! And don't you forget it!" He kicked his locker making people jump. He sat down in his homeroom desk and started tearing his notebook paper to shreds, people watched him making him uncomfortable. He threw his books on the ground. "STOP STARING AT ME". Everyone's eyes averted to the floor. He started ripping the paper faster the shoved it all in his bag.

"Mr Goldsworthy" He spotted his home room teacher standing in front of him. "I want you to go see the school therapist after school today".

"I don't need a therapist God damn it". He bent down and picked up his books and then he walked out the door and left school and drove to the spot were Julia died he sat there fuming angry at the guy for hitting Julia, angry at Julia for walking away from him, angry at her for dying. He got out of the car and yelled at cars and at people till he felt drained. Then he just drove home.

Hi, baby boy how was school". His mom was making dinner the school must have decided be needed to go home anyway and not called his mother.

"Horrible". He went up to him so room and slammed the door and threw his lamp on the floor. He was so angry at her for dying.


	18. I know I don't deserve her

Eli walked in to the cemetery, most of her family was here, people Eli had never seen before. He hadn't gone to the memorial at school on Saturday. There were just all kinds of fake people pretending they had lost Julia. None of them had tried to get to know her, none of them had tried to be her friend. Most of them had teased her. They didn't deserve to know her, or cry over her. Plus the school therapist was still chasing him and Spencer, he just hadn't wanted to be there.

Eli didn't see Spencer here. Eli couldn't blame him. He almost hadn't come himself. He parents who had grown fond of her over the times she'd stayed with them had convinced him. He spotted Julia's stepmother who gave him a hug. "She loved you so much Eli". Julia's Dad told him. "Thank you for loving her". Eli just nodded not knowing what to say.

"I know After my husband died,I thought I wouldn't love again," She smiled at Julia's Dad through her tears. "But that changed". Eli shook his head, what a lack of will power. She found another guy after her husband DIED? Eli would never do that. "Well, we should go, Into the church and sit, she nodded at the big building across the street. Eli nodded and followed them and sat down next to his mother.

"We would like to thank you, for coming to young Julia's memorial". He paused. "She was taken way to young". Eli slouched as low as he could, he was so afraid people blamed him. Why shouldn't they? He hadn't chased her! He'd made her upset. It all came down to him then and there, Eli did something he never thought he'd do.

He prayed.

_God if you're real,_

_Please, don't take her. Take me, just bring her back to me. I have no purpose without her. _ He knew he was crying. He'd didn't care. He wanted Julia back. She really was gone, there was no God to take her, or bring her back. She was GONE. He looked at all the school kids who had the incredible nerve to show their damn faces. None of them had spoken to her, or befriended her, never showed any kindness to her. They had teased her. How could any of them have the nerve to pretend to cry over her?

They didn't deserve to! How could she walk away? How could he let her? He would never put himself, into this situation again, he wouldn't have another girlfriend. And that wouldn't be an issue, because he didn't want anyone else he only wanted Julia. "Just know, she is happy and safe now and she wants the same for all of you". Eli smiled slightly, She would want him to be happy, but he refused to forget her, he would do anything.

"Her Mother told me, how her smile lit up a room, it made everyone else smile. Her faith inspired other believers, she went slightly down hill after her Dads married she started pulling away from the Lord, but Julia was always a nice kid, she was incredibly sweet in the time she came to this church, and her family loved her". Eli Had stopped listening, this was just bull shit.

"what do you say we go out to dinner?". Eli's mother had her arm around him. His dad missed his hair. Eli shook his head. "I'm going to the grave yard". He tossed the keys to his Dad.

"Take Morty, I'll walk". The two parents just stared after him they were both worried about him and they just watched him walk into the grave yard and start kicking the tree next to Julia's grave.

"I'm worried about him". Cece didn't take her eyes off the boy ,who was now yelling at Julia's gravestone. Then he dropped to his knees, and pulled on his hair and let out a loud yell.

"IT'S ALL MY FAULT!".

"We should go talk to him_". Her husband pulled her back.

"Just leave him". She looked back at her son, he was so very far from the happy five year old she had known. "He needs to blow off steam.". She nodded.

"You're right, her parents live nearby they'll send him home". But she only half heartedly went with her husband she didn't. Want to leave him when he was hurting so much but she knew she couldn't help him.

Eli sat there next to her grave, the tears overpowering him. He didn't want to hurt anymore he didn't want Julia to be gone anymore, it was all his fault, if only he'd kept out of her way they way he always did. She wouldn't be dead now. He hugged his knees and set his head in his arms. His face wet from the tears. Then and there he felt tired, and his anger was melted. Now he just felt overpowered and sad. "I hope you're happy with yourself Eli". Eli picked up his head, he stood up and faced Spencer.

"What do you mean?" Eli furrowed his eyebrows.

"You got the girl, you banged her, she's dead". The tears running down both boys cheeks. "I loved her". He was shaking. "More the you ever could've ".

"I loved her first". Eli's hands shook as it started to rain. "You bullied her, since grade six, you'll never deserve her".

"I learned. Eli. I changed, people change they don't stay jerks forever, I know you have trust issues. But it's not fair to judge people on how they used to be, I know I don't deserve her but you don't either". Eli stood still taking all this in. "I'll come back tomorrow". Eli glanced down at the pink flowers on Julia's grave. He shook his head and moved them to the next grave next to hers.

He then started to walk home. He went into his room and, pushed the junk on his bed onto the floor. It had been three days since she died, more and more paper and candy wrappers were making a home in his room. His top drawer filled with torn up paper. He knew he should throw it all out but he just couldn't bring himself to do it.


End file.
